When Jephthah returned to his home in Mizpah, who should come out to meet him but his daughter, dancing to the sound of tambourines! She was an only child. Except for her he had neither son nor daughter. ~Judges 11:34 (NIV)
When I was a little girl, I remember shaking the handbells in Sunday School, and I felt happy inside. Growing up, I took piano lessons and majored in music in college. I loved singing because music brought me joy. But painful events later in life plunged me into deep periods of grief: surviving a tragic car accident and losing a friend, the death of my son years later, and subsequent health issues causing chronic pain. Where was the music then? What about the pain in your life? Perhaps you have experienced pain from debilitating health, losing a marriage or child, misunderstanding in a friendship, dealing with circumstances beyond your control in work or ministry, or caring for an aging parent.
Jephthah’s daughter models how to worship God in our pain.
Her father, Jephthah the Gileadite, was a mighty warrior, the son of a prostitute. He was kicked out of his family by the brothers of his father’s wife. But when they needed his strength, they called him to fight against their enemies. Jephthah vowed that if he won, he would devote to God the first thing that came out of his house: his only daughter. She came out to meet her father, dancing to the sound of tambourines! Though we don’t know her name, we learn she was a woman of praise. (Judges 11:34).
Upon seeing her, Jephthah cried and tore his clothes, agonizing over the loss of his daughter by keeping his promise to God. Jephthah’s daughter could have manipulated her father to break his promise. What warrior wouldn’t want to marry the victor’s daughter? Instead, she said, ” Father, you have given your word to the Lord. Do to me just as you promised, now that the Lord has avenged you of your enemies…” (Judges 11:36). Then, she asked her father for one thing; to go and mourn.
Find a place and take time to grieve.
Jephthah permitted his daughter to go into the hills with her friends for two months to mourn her loss, for she would never marry or have children. Young women went into the country for four days each year to remember her (Judges 11:40). What a powerful impact this woman had on the women of her time and for us today. Despite her loss and terrible suffering, she trusted God for her life.
I don’t understand and can’t explain why God allowed this, but I know this was recorded for us to remember. My heart weeps with her. What an invitation to come to God with our sorrow and anguish.
Did God fail Jephthah’s daughter? No. I don’t believe it. She lived with deep disappointment, but she trusted God in her pain. And I’d like to think she didn’t let go of her tambourine.
When Jesus was about to die, He told His disciples what they would experience. First, they would mourn, but after that, their weeping would turn to joy. His life and resurrection were their source of joy. A couple of years ago, I bought a tambourine to shake in my happy moments and in my difficult moments. He has helped me see He is the source of my joy, even in pain. One day, God will remove all pain.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death
or mourning or crying or pain….”
~Revelation 21:4 (NIV)
What disappointments and pain plague you? Take time to find a safe place to grieve your losses.
Prayer: Father, only You have sufficiently anguished over my pain as You carried my sorrows through Jesus’ sacrificial death. Thank you for your decision to give up your only son to come alongside me when I am weeping. Please bring the joy of Yourself into my circumstances. Give me the grace to worship You even in my losses.
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